Unbiased...

Forgot I had this thing...

So, I wanted to write an entry without reading what I wrote before!  Wonder if my writing style has changed, or my attitude about life.  Just wanna see what's the same/different before being influenced by previous entries.

My life now?  I've recently moved to KSA, or the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.  Why?  Cuz I'm making ARAB MONEY! :P  How is it so far?  It's okay.  It's different.  Either I'm getting older and more mature, or things don't excite me that much.  I moved away again.  I'm in a totally new place.  However, it's definitely not the same feeling I first had when I moved to Japan 6 years ago.  Maybe I was too young and naive.  Maybe I thought I had to prove myself to the world.  So what's the difference between now and then?  Is this move just a simple career advancement?  Natural progression?

Japan, 2 years.  Teaching.  Back to San Diego, 4 years.  More teaching and Master's degree.  Now KSA, x years. x = ?  I guess I'm at the level of prestige I deserve to be at.  English professor.  University level.  Hooray.  I wonder how long I can ride this train...

Anyway.  Riyadh.  Saudi Arabia.  Good job.  Free housing.  No (legal) alcohol.  But free utilities.  No pork.  But free transportation.  No entertainment.  But decent weather (for now).  My motto of "work hard, play harder" has been thrown out the window.  Can't really work hard.  The job is fairly easy!!!  Can't play hard cuz we're restricted!  Guess I just gotta wait til our (long) vacations.  Be a good little doggie, and they'll throw us a bone :)

Am I where I wanted to be 7 years ago?  I can't argue that I'm not.  7th year teacher.  Highly experienced.  Post-graduate degree.  Working at a university.  Bought a condo.  Single.  *sigh*  I'm already getting pressure from the 'rents for graaaaandchiillldren.  Sorry I pursued my education and career first, haha.

So here we are at 30.  The new 20.  Late bloomer?  Or on track?  I say pick the petals off that flower and fuck the track.  Grow a cactus.  They need less water.  And make your own damn tracks.  In fact, there aren't any tracks.  Just go wherever life leads you :D

Saw "Wreck-It Ralph" last night through a bootleg stream.  It's all we can do to see movies here, so I'm breaking the law, whatever.  I'd like to end with the Bad-Anon affirmation:

"I am bad and that's good. I will never be good and that's not bad. There is no one I would rather be than ME."

writing about blogs for my literature review. how fitting! =P

Hello my old blog. Ir's been A LONG TIME. Ohisashiburi desu ne! Jaa, what to write. Kinda wish I've kept up with this blog. So much (and yet so little =P) has happened! Hmm. Japan was a success. At least, I deem it successful now. Reading my old posts, I may have not had the same opinion as my old self. Maika! Upon my return to San Diego, I immediately found a job at ICAE located in downtown, La Jolla. I still work there, but am working to finish my Master's degree in Education, TESOL. I know, I know, acronyms up the yin yang. My family has let go of our house and relocated to a cozy apartment in Mission Valley. Fine living. I moved back with them when I started grad school to save rent. I don't think I'll stay here after I graduate, but we'll see. Nothing has changed much in San Diego. My man card has been upgraded with an M1 endorsement. Yes, I RIDE. Is that so hard to believe? I've already gone through 2 motorcycles, have never spilled, and finally bought a new one last month. My new baby, an '09 Yamaha FZ6-R. I still heart my '00 Toyota Celica though, which now has over 155k miles and still runs strong! It's all about wanting what you've got, and remembering why you got it in the first place. Don't take things for granted, especially the things that you already have. =)

So this past week has been quite productive and interesting.

First off, congratulations to me! Looks like I will be staying for sure in Japan and my current city of Utsunomiya for at least another year. I landed another job at a different company. Although my current standing at Amity is okay, I feel I can't go on another year if I stayed with them, so I went off looking for another place to work. Low and behold, and luckily I might add, I was able to find work elsewhere. My new place of teaching will be at a YMCA. Yes, an actual YMCA, but in Japan. I'll be stationed at the East Utsunomiya YMCA, which means I'll have to abandon my west-side neighborhood and live amongst the east-siders. Hopefully it will be okay. I'm anxious in many ways, yet comforted by the fact that 1) I won't have to deal with my current employer's bull shit, 2) I have a new M-F, 3pm-9pm (only) schedule, and 3) I have 12 weeks off throughout the year! Although when my 12 weeks off occur is already pre-scheduled, it's still totals to 3 months of paid time off, not including normal holidays, weekends, and having only a 25hr work week. Quite a steal, don't you agree?

Second, I have to mention something that occured during this week that will make me miss my students even more. I was ending a lesson with a student I started teaching only a few months earlier, a 3 year old named Shizuku, by singing a routine goodbye song, when she started to cry. Her mother (who is in the class with her) asked her what her problem was. My japanese may suck but I understood why she started crying when she explained, and I was deeply touched. I think I understand children's Japanese the best, maybe because my level is that of a child's! Hahaha. Anyways, she pretty much said something in the likes of, "WTH!? Class is over? I don't want it to be over!" Her mom and I had to comfort her and compromise. We were able to make a deal and limit her demands to just one more song. It was crazy heart-warming. For moments like that, I appreciate my job and especially my students. It makes all of the other shit I had to go through seem worth it. And for students like her, I will definitely miss working at Amity.

Third, withing the course of this week, I have been able to have glimpses of the bigger picture. I've been able to see how much I've grown personally. A bit scary, if I may say, to see the personal progress accomplished within the lengths of a year. Let's hope the growth doesn't stop nor heads in a negative direction. I know I'm not getting any younger, as young as I may be, but a smart person knows that there's only one thing that goes up, and never comes down. I'll let you come to your own conclusion on that one. ^_~ "I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T! S-M-R-T!"

Well, for now, "Hakuna Matata, Bitches!"

LOL. I'm laughing at myself because of my apparent lack of entries. It's been another 3 months since my last one. Am I that occupied? Must be.

So. Guess I'm yet at another crossroad in my life. My Japanese working visa is definitely extended. My contract expires on the 31st of March, but my visa precedes it on the 17th. Thus, my company is forced to sponsor my renewal visa, which only comes in one year minimum deals. In short, I'm free to stay and/or work in Japan until March 2008! But, the dilemma is whether or not I can get a new job and whether or not I want to return home already. Haven't really decided, so I have labeled the probablities at 50/50.

Roughly 6 teaching weeks and 1 "training the new teacher" week remains. Amazing how quickly a year passes. I'm not worried anymore. I use to worry until I realized I was wasting my time stressing over something that is eventually gonna end. Funny, work seems easier lately. Is it because I know my time with Amity is coming to an end? Again, must be.

Been addicted to an arcade game called Gundam Kizuna and have been playing more frequently lately. Adam and I started playing together but he definitely has played more than me. He's practically what we call "otaku," or video game nerds and geeks. What am I talking about, I am one as well! In any case, you get this big pod to play in with a dome screen inside, just like IMAX theatres, two pedals for boost and jump, and two hand throttles for direction control and weapon usage. It's extremely fun for me, but extremely draining on my financial resources. I have this jar where I used to drop 500yen coins into as savings. Basically, no more coins enter the jar. Each play is 500yen! Quite expensive right? Is it worth it? I continue to play so, must be!

So there's this 6 month gap between this post and the last. WTH!?!? Kinda wish I've been posting, but oh well.

Anyways, still in Japan. It's holiday season. Just spent my "Thanks Day" here sleeping in, a bit of minor shopping and a "nice" T-day dinner with Adam at Yoshinoya that consisted of a pork bowl, pork katsu bowl, and some miso soup. Guess it's pig for me this year instead of Turkey, well actually, instead of lobster. Our family no longer does the turkey thing for Thanksgiving, but now does lobster. Yes, I am missing out, and I'd rather be eating lobsters on this day, but it's the life I've chosen, so I must put up with it. Sadly, Christmas is celebrated here but it seems only as a commercial shopping holiday, not with the meaning we have being from a Christian faith. Another *sigh* I guess is due. Fortunately, I will be spending the New Year holiday in the Philippines. Yes, another trip to the motherland! That's 3 times in one year baby, hehehe. Can you tell I'm addicted? So woohoo, at least that's something to look forward to.

As for my life in Japan, my Japanese has gotten a bit better, but seeing that I speak English for most of the day anyways, it hasn't improved all that much. Oh well. Work is now just work. Can't complain much expect for the days when things go wrong or I get wrongfully blamed for something. Don't wanna go into detail or I'll get mad all over again. Things usually go ok, except sometimes, only sometimes, I feel like I'm running out of patience for this company and for this workplace. Am I that unhappy? It's hard to answer.

This weekend is our "Tokubetsu Kenshuu," or special training. Something we've "earned" for working hard each month and earning our branch's "spirits" or monthly goals. We ALWAYS earn them. We're one of the top 10 branches I think! So this weekend consists of a paid trip to Disneyland this Sunday, and training or a speech from our company's big cheese on Monday. I'm not quite sure what the actual dealy is since this is my first time, and no one seems to want to clue me in at work. On the plus side, the trip is paid for minus the food. On the down side, I don't get a replacement weekend and I have to roll with coworkers and the manager. Again, not gonna get into it. If you really wanna know, ask me.

I'm already looking for another job to extend my stay in Japan after my current contract ends. I'm considering entering the fast life and moving to maybe somewhere in the Tokyo area. Don't get me wrong, Utsunomiya is a nice place, but it's not really a fast paced city. I love it here and it would be a great place to settle IF I was planning on settling in Japan, but I'm not. I'm probably looking at another year, tops, so I might at well see what life is like in the Japanese fast lanes. It may be expensive and difficult, but I figure it's worth a shot. So that's one option. The alternative is to just pick up and leave the country and go home. At this point both options are plausible and possible. It's both exciting and scary to look into one's future, especially since I never had to think this far ahead before as a student. When in school, most likely you know that the next year you'll still be in school. Damn do I miss being a student. If it wasn't for the fiduciary mess I'm kinda in, I'd love to just be a student for a while. But again, that's what life is all about, it's about figuring it out, and making sure you have some answers, if not all, by the time life requires them from you. Tough shit man.

So in my last moments of Thanksgiving day, I guess right now, I'm thankful for of course the family I'm blessed with, the friends I have and the new ones I've made, for small things I take for granted on a daily basis, for being granted with some ability to speak Japanese, and for the knowledge that God must love me, because if he didn't, I wouldn't have all the above mentioned things. It's always hard to list what your thankful for, because more than half the time you don't know or are ignorant to those things you should really be thankful for. I may just be speaking for myself, but I'm happy that at least I'm owning up to my deficiencies as a person.

I'm already predicting, or I guess I already know, that it's gonna be during the holiday season when I'm gonna miss home the most. My family, my friends, the overall feeling. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but I already knew that.

Finally was able to go to mass! So this past week, I found the local Catholic church and today I was finally able to go to mass. It's been a while, a bit over 2 months, since I've last gone. It was extremely refreshing. The English service is twice a month, on the 1st and 3rd Sunday of the month at 1pm. I was able to meet new people, since there were a lot of Filipinos. I was even able to lector for the 1st reading and responsorial psalm! Crazy nostalgia man, but a really good feeling. It's fitting actually, today was the first day I saw the sun in like weeks. It's been raining a lot and beginning to get a bit humid and hot. I'm seriously happy. I actually have something to look forward to on the weekends now, since my previous weekends were typically unplanned and free. I pray for good things...

The Manzana side of the family had this massive reunioin this weekend in San Francisco. Randy and I were the only ones missing. A bit sad I wasn't there, but life didn't allow my presence to be possible. That's life, and life goes on. I was surprised and delighted though to receive a phone call earlier today from the whole gang, and they played pass the phone so everyone was able to say hi. I'm happy for them that they finally had a decent get together after all these years.

I have really good feeling the best is yet to come. Lots of time to grow. Lots of time to make things better. I'm slowly yet surely realizing that this is exactly what I've needed. To change. For the better. Yeah. =)